Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found
Was blind, but now I see

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear
And Grace, my fears relieved
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail
And mortal life shall cease
I shall possess within the veil
A life of joy and peace

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found
Was blind, but now I see

   I came to realize over the years that my mother and I never really had a lot in common other than a degree of stubbornness that didn't serve either of us particularly well. There's nothing wrong with that, mind you. We forged a workable partnership after my father dies in 1989 and worked hard to keep what remained of our small extended family intact and moving along, even if we didn't always

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agree with each other.

   One of the things we could agree upon was a fondness for the song "Amazing Grace," although even then we had our differences. Mom liked the solemn, reserved version that they played in church but I prefer Ani DiFranco's crank-it-from-the-heart rendition on her "Living In Clip" live CD.

   There's strength to be found in the lyrics and a soothing peace in the musical arrangement.

   Mom passed away Saturday evening in a hospital ICU ward. I'd more or less known for a few days that the outcome was inevitable and hoped for a time that the end would come in the quiet of the early morning while I was away because I was sure I couldn't bear to be there alone with her in those final solemn moments.

   Somehow and uncharacteristically, I did find the strength to stay beside her and was able to hold her hand at the moment her heart gave out. The emotional pain, as many of you have undoubtedly learned through your own experiences, is immense and intense, tempered by the knowledge that she did not suffer.

   Reflecting these last few hours, I regret that I couldn't always have been the best possible son. But I'm glad I was able to help her and share my love during the most difficult times and then be there with her at the end.

   I'll be taking a few days off from blogging to handle the things that need to be done for mom and will be back online mid-week.

   Peace.

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